Friday, May 1, 2015

I Killed Them

Most people want their dream or wish comes true.  Most people will be very happy when they get everything they ask for. I have made some wishes and those wishes came true, but I was not happy. I regretted them. I thought because of my wishes some God's creatures died.

Once in  my life, I wished that I wanted to have a puppy, just a puppy. What happen in reality was I really had a puppy, and several months  later, when it grew up, it died. Next, I had a puppy again, it was so cute, and when it grew up, it died too, and it  happened several times until I realized they might die because of me, because I wished that I just wanted to have a puppy. I was so sad because my dream came true.

Then I changed, I wanted to have a dog forever, from puppy until it was old. It became true, we enjoyed the days together. Then one day, the dog was sick and suffered, but it was still alive. I thought it was better to see it died than suffered like that. I realized it suffered because of me, because I wished I had a dog from puppy until it was old. My dog was not an old dog yet. At that time I thought my wish made it suffer, I was so sad, I regretted my wish. Then, when it finally died, I promised myself I would not take care any dog with my heart and soul anymore.

More than 15 years later, when I have 2 little kids and have a new house, I really wanted to have a dog, a friend for my kids. It was pomeranian type. When it was a puppy, it was so cute. It was really good  friend for my children. We love it. Then several months later, it died, just died, it was in the cage and died. The kids were so upset. At that time I realized I broke my own promise that I made several years ago. Taking care a dog with my heart made that dog die.

These experiences made me feel that I was so blessed, everything that I wished came true. I wished I had puppies, it was granted several times, I wished to have more than a puppy, it was granted too. I was blessed but I was not happy because the dogs died. I thought I, my wishes, and my promise,  had killed them. 

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