April 4th

April 4^th is a special day for me. It is not my birthday, it is not my children birthday either. It is special because of what I did several years ago when I was in Senior High School. I did a mistake. I knew I was wrong, but I did it. Realizing the mistake that I have done, now I become Santa Clause for the people who close to me.

When I was in High School, I met a multitalented girl, a good dancer and singer. We were close since we were chosen as representatives of our regency to perform in a dance competition. In my mind, she had every thing; she had a good voice, good family, and many friends. She used to sing in high class hotel to entertain the guests, and the money she got from it was saved and donated to an orphanage in our town. She is a generous person. It was on April 4^th, her birthday, when she celebrated her birthday with the orphans and donated her saving to them. 

I was invited to the party she arranged in a restaurant later in the evening, but I did not come. I realized that I was not a good friend; I did not come and did not celebrate her. Frankly speaking, I wanted to come, but then I chose not to. She had every thing, but I had nothing for her. I did not have any money to buy a birthday gift for her.  I knew she did not expect anything from me, but still, I was so unconfident.  The worst thing, I did not approach her the next day we met at school and  asked her apology or say something to break the ice, or congratulate her. I did not do anything. Instead, I kept silent and pretended nothing happened. I was so afraid to meet her. It was one of the worst moments in my life.

Time goes on, now I am a lecturer and she is a lecturer too in a well known university in different town.  We have met several times in this recent 10 years. May be she forgets about that incident, but not for me. That day becomes a turning point in my life and makes what I am today. Today, I feel that I have better financial than before and I am so glad to prepare birthday surprise or birthday gift to my family, friends, and the children of them. I find myself so happy every time I go to department store or shop to choose and buy something for their birthday. I do not expect anything in return; I just love to do that. 

I fond to be like Santa Clause who gives present to kids; I enjoy every single moment that I do. My fool April has changed my life. Since the thing that I have done made me depressed for almost a decade, now, I try not to do similar mistake; I try to be a considerate person.